Hush Don't Say a Word!
(The Sweet Skill of Silence.)
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I love to talk! Really, I love to talk but I have discovered that the more I talk, the less I listen and the less I communicate. As a communication professional, this became worrisome for me because communication with others should be interpersonal and it requires feedback. How do I get the required feedback if I keep talking? So I had to learn to listen in silence and to take time off for quiet moments.
I love to talk! Really, I love to talk but I have discovered that the more I talk, the less I listen and the less I communicate. As a communication professional, this became worrisome for me because communication with others should be interpersonal and it requires feedback. How do I get the required feedback if I keep talking? So I had to learn to listen in silence and to take time off for quiet moments.
How many times do you feel the urge to spit out your exact feelings but then a still small voice tells you to hold back? Or how many times have you spat out words only to wish you could eat them up? The cliché "Silence is golden" remains relevant, especially at a time in today's world when everyone seems to be talking. A time when anyone could be held accountable for words carelessly uttered hence the need for silence.
Silence should not be mistaken for low self-esteem or cowardice. It is a sweet skill that helps you to connect to the inner self. Rather than coming off as having low self-esteem, it shows a high level of civility and good manners. We can learn a lot from the King of the Jungle. As the Yorubas would often say the Lion's surreptitious walk is not of cowardice. The Lion's quiet movement portrays class, confidence, and skill in capturing its prey.
The skill of silence that I am proposing is the same kind that makes you hold back words when you don't need to say them. The same kind that makes you take a break from speech because you need time for intrapersonal communication. The kind where you speak to the inner self and wait for the response from within. It is most importantly the kind that makes you visit a bereaved person and just feel their pain rather than show your skill of irrelevant verbosity.
Attaining this higher level of self-improvement is not an overnight job. It is a process! It requires self-awareness and understanding. You gradually become aware of your own emotions, understand the emotions of others, and get to communicate better through listening. Jenn Swanson in her podcast on silence, emphasises the need to take a break from speech, get away from all the numerous confusing voices we hear daily, and to connect with nature to hear and understand oneself and understand others much better.
The Holy Bible summarises the importance of practising silence in the book of James 1:19-20.
, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ” And quick responses don't ever justify our emotions. Silence and patience in giving responses, especially in the face of antagonism and heated arguments can save one the pain of feeling sorry or saying an embarrassing apology later in the future. It is a step towards the mastery of emotional intelligence.